I felt compelled to share a journal entry. Many times things happen in our lives and the first question we ask is, “Why?”. And more times than not, there isn’t an answer. Sometimes the answer will come in time or never at all. As I continue to reach milestones in my “survivor story” with cancer, there are days when I feel that question being answered for me. It’s not so much an answer as to, “Why did I get cancer?” but more of an affirmation as to, “Why did I get so lucky to call myself a survivor?”
As I approach my two year anniversary next month, and after having an incredibly challenging summer that started with the traumatic loss of a good friend and colleague, Eric Langlois, I have been savoring every day for the gift that it truly is. The cliches are true, life is short. You never know when your time on this earth will cease. But knowing that everyday I can live each day to the fullest empowers me and fills me with hope and love.
Here is my journal entry and an image of me from the day that I came home from the hospital, cancer free.
Life is not planned and there is no road map for the experiences that we go through, good and bad. Things happen that are out of our control and we will become stronger because of each and every hurdle and curve ball that comes our way. Good surprises and bad teach us about what strengths lie within us that we may not have be aware that we even had. My Sammy is a gift that came into our lives at a time when we didn’t think having another child would be right for our family. But the decision wasn’t made by us, it was made for us. And because of that, his positive light has been there for me in one of my darkest times. Cancer was not a choice, but in the end, it helped me find a strength within myself that I had no idea existed. Because of both of these experiences, I have been able to help others and continue to learn more about myself of daily basis. I have been incredibly fortunate to find my strength through both the good and the bad.
Embrace life. Celebrate it. Be grateful for every day for the gift that it brings forth. This is your story. Cry. Laugh. Love. It truly is all we need.